St. Andrew’s Brewing

Christmas Party – 9th January 2010

Let’s go back to this afternoon where I fought through snow drifts, blizzards and .... OK! I was in my the car, but that doesn’t matter, the snow was pretty deep all the same. Maybe there were no blizzards but a gentle breeze was noticeable and it was very cold, and it was wet. Don’t switch off, dear Reader, I am getting to the point. I had to get the ‘Beer of the Year Award’ trophy from last year’s winner to make sure it was clean and no scratches. This year the award has caused controversy which I will elaborate upon After the next paragraph.

It is a cold, wet Saturday evening as I plod my way through Big John’s front gate followed by Big Ritchie. Yes, dear Reader, Big Ritchie is not first. That particular honour goes to Our Glorious Leader John W., and Ian T. Who are propping up the bar in Big John’s Shed. Now, there is a story attached to Ian (Pops) T., which I will now enlighten you all.

At each meeting throughout the year we select a ‘beer of the night’ as you will see on further scrutiny of this website. These beers are voted on to decide the entries into the ‘beer of the year’ of which we choose four, which are made again for the Christmas Party of which we choose the winner. Well, that’s all well and good if the four beers are brewed again so that we remind ourselves what they tasted like. Old ‘Pops’, it turns out, couldn’t make his brew but, and this is his reasoning, it was voted the best of those which are to be entered into the Christmas vote, so therefore he should have won. This same reasoning suggests that in Formula One racing the car in pole position shouldn’t have to go tear-arsing round a race circuit, “because they were fastest the day before”

So let me say here and now that old ‘Pops’ reckons, because he does the website, that he will doctor the review. Mind you, his beer was a cracking one – one of the best I’ve had all year and that includes commercial beers as well. Did I say that? Or has he edited that in!

Shrouded in mystery three hand pumps only have numbers on. This means that no one knows which beer is which. This way the voting is fair, regardless of ‘Pops’.

Next to arrive are our country cousins Pete, Rob (Gimpy) and Little Ritchie, followed by Stuart who brought his wife, Mrs Stuart, to keep Mrs Big John company in the kitchen. Well, there’s got to be washing up and stuff – and we don’t know where the pots go! Last to arrive is Ian J (Jacko)

Each one of us brought something to eat, not necessarily conferring so two very large pork pies were brought, alongside the traditional Corned Beef Pie, sausage wrapped in bacon, a load of nibbles and chilli con carni from our host, or rather Mrs Big John! A veritable feast indeed. Even the smokers amongst us enjoy cigars in this festive get together.

Big John, being the good landlord he is, keeps us all topped up with championship ales. The call goes out that the food is ready – good job as all the nibbles have disappeared. Up to the house we go and witness some kind of miracles. Not that ‘Pops’ finished off the corn beef pie but finally, Big Ritchie admits he is FULL. “Can’t eat another thing.” And there are still pieces of pork pie left and Pete and Little Ritchie have had their fill. Pete couldn’t manage to polish off the chilli. Miracles? I should say so.

We wander back down to the shed and continue where we left off – drinking beer. Also on offer are Big John’s stock ales Paddy’s Oirish (I polished off a couple of pints) and All Hail to the Ale. By this time we should be voting for that coverted title but one of our soldiers is missing. It’s Stuart. Is he been trapped in the toilet and can’t get out? Have the womenfolk forced him into washing up? Has he taken a wrong turning and is six feet under a snowdrift? Where can he be?

“I fell asleep!” Some hero he turns out to be.

It’s time for voting and the winner is – Jacko. The newly crowned Brewer of the Year is called upon to give a speech which he does, and John W gets a big mention with gratitude in teaching him all he knows. A good speech, but I bet ‘Pops’ had a better one prepared.

It has been a good night, thanks to our host Big John – no mention of hops, barley, subs or slack mashes. Let’s hope we have a good year, with good beer and good friends.

Tees Creek Brewing Company

31st January 2010

The front room of Jacko’s house does very nicely for his pub. The green topped pine bar announce three beers on handpump, alongside the accolade to his brewing prowess – the award for ‘Beer of the Year’.

He has on offer Ironopolis made from Maris Otter pale malt, a combination of amber, crystal and wheat malts, and has used East Kent Golding’s hops in both the boil and the finishing. (EBU 30, ABV 3.8%). Next beer on offer is Cascade, the Beer of the Year. This 4.1% ale, with an EBU of 33, is made from Maris Otter accompanied by Crystal and wheat malts, and flaked maize. Centennial hops for the boil and cascade hops for the last fifteen minutes. Both these beers are of a golden colour unlike the third one which is dark. Black Diamond is made from Maris Otter with the additions of amber, chocolate, crystal and wheat malt and roast barley. Hops used are Whitbread Golding Variety and Fuggles. It weighs in at a hefty 5.1% with an EBU of 33.

Propping up the bar when Our Glorious Leader and myself arrive are Big John and Big Ritchie. Rob arrives almost at the same time as us. ‘Pops’ isn’t joining us tonight because he forgot. Yes folks, we meet every three weeks (without fail) and a list is on this website (updated by Pops himself!) but he forgot. So, for him and no one else, “TWENTY FIRST OF FEBRUARY AT BIG RITCHIE’S.”

The nibbles on offer were outstanding. Various cheeses, scotch eggs, crisps, olives, pork pies, pickled eggs and corned beef pie. Those present tuck into the fayre with the usual shout from Rob to get them finished before our country cousins arrive. Plenty of time to do that as they are late in arriving. Stuart gets in well before them. We have been warned already that Our Glorious Leader has a lot to talk about tonight, but that must wait until we are all here.

Pete and Little Ritchie duly arrive looking rather windswept as is the way with country folk. The precision in which these guys can enter a room and grab a piece of corned beef pie whilst still holding onto the door knob has got to be seen to be believed. Within four minutes half the pie has gone with Little Ritchie remonstrating that he only had one piece. At least it got eaten.

Because our numbers once totalled twelve, Our Glorious Leader, John W., has got it into his head that we should always have twelve. At present there are ten of us in the group and if someone is interested in brewing and wants to join then all well and good. But someone just has to mention the word “beer” and John invites them to join. ‘Ale fellow well met’, as they say in Derbyshire. So, this is one thing that he wanted to talk about. The next is the Leyburn Festival. Last time I was there I got stuck behind William Hague MP., who insisted on talking to everyone, apart from me because I was behind him. Anyway, we’ve been asked to go along and show people how to brew, and we need two brews for people to try. All sorted. Next up is the Darlington Beer Festival where we have a stall for people to try samples of our ales and donate some money to add to our coffers. Four lads volunteer to make one - Big John; Little Ritchie; John; and Pete. So, dear Reader, that’s your weekend sorted around 25th – 27th March. Fourth up is the cost of the hiring of minibuses, or is that minibuy. We pay £5 each, the rest is subsidised by group funds. Group funds are getting stretched so what do we do? Long discussion brings the usual outcome – we stay as we were. That, too, got sorted having made a few guys feeling awkward but – hey! – we’re men aren’t we?

With our resident farmer, his ear to the ground, nose up a tractor’s exhaust, we discover that Barley is down in price to £78 per tonne. Will pubs be bringing prices down? I doubt it, but you can always ask! Tell them the Croft Brewers told you to!

Cringe upon cringe! What has Jacko put in his pickled eggs? Big Ritchie has a face on him that wouldn’t look out of place in a horror movie! “I know there’s corriander,” says Jacko...

In this room there is a lamp that changes colour but do we have to cheer when it does? Still, keeps us occupied for a few minutes before ‘HOPS’ are mentioned. [FOR THOSE WITH A DELICATE DISPOSITION GO TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH] Hops don’t stay fresh for ever. There comes a time when they lose their colour and their aroma. Well, Rob, sharp as a button, sees an opportunity to get a load of them rather than have them thrown out. Now here is where the ‘yellow card’ comes out. He only goes off on one, doesn’t he? We keep all our stocks of hops round at Our Glorious Leader’s place but Our Glorious Leader can’t give them out willy-nilly just because they are a bit iffy. Now our Rob loses it a bit (ie. going to leave the group etc., etc!). Anyway, I think he calmed down. He can’t leave the group, where would he go? Croft Brewers perhaps?

Beer of the night is Black Diamond. Cascade beaten into second place. If any reader sees Pops before the next meeting remind him will you? It was a cracking night, cheers Ian.

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